Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
