are you still at the devil's house?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
