i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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