At least make sure they are 18
Why
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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