but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
