mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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