K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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