how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize