And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
