We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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