i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Text me some of your sweat
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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