birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
