i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
