She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
