I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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