So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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