apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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