I am in a vortex of obligation.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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