do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
