So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this boner is exhausting
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
