True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
