He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
