jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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