MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
