Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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