operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
