Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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