just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
