I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Quick, to the slutcave!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is it because I queefed?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
