Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize