whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
