Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize