I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize