While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
