New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
