Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
