Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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