he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
