I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
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