Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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