do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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