well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
