If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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