I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
