Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
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we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
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He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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