it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
