in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
