Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize