It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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