the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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