And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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