We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
