Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
that's an acceptable place to lick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
