he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize