OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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