my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
