: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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