I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
