So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
