HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
A bitchslap is in order.
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