Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
