Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize