i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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