I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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