school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
