Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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