Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Mom said you looked used
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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