dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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