my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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